Lexmark Confidential

Ray is pissed. Presently he is knocking down a large mass of Jack Daniel's, surreptitiously added to his cola from the limited edition Sharper Image flask that he keeps hidden in his file cabinet. He stumbles across the sidewalk and barely misses the banana peel which spells "impending doom" for most. But Ray's slicker, evene when inebriated, than most. I once heard Ray say that he learned the art of being slick from an old Native American medicine woman who worked part-time behind the register of his favorite Taco Bell. He also claimed she made a man of him in the parking lot that same evening, but since he was as drunk as he'd ever been when he told me this, that part of it is probably bull. Regardless, Ray managed to evade the banana peel only to step squarely on two small birds making bird love. The force of Ray's size 9.5 shoe on the small birds' bodies is enough to squash these little lovemaking birds if they were actually birds. Which they were not. They were actually the native american medicine woman and ray himself, transported back in time from that exceptionally special night. And if you'll believe that you'll believe anything.

"Marni is pissed." Ray said as he shook his thoughts of the banana and native american medicine woman. Ray had bigger things on his mind. You guys are WHACKED!!! *FArt* "WHo did that" asked ray. Was it Pat Benitar ray wondered. IT''S RICK JAMES!!!

"Rick James is my dad....And I totally saw him at starbucks. Getting a tofu drink. What a sissy..." Exclaimed Marni as she laughedf merraly at Ray and the banana. "You seriously need to think about anger management classes. And maybe even sign up for a lamaz class or something like that."

Ray pondered these wise words as he sipped back on his JD and cola. And then he realized that his JD Cola was ticking ... he freaded out for a couple moments but then the can EXPLODED and out came a bunch of little crabs and bumble bees! They shot out of the metal flask like a weasel after a six pack of Mike's hard lemonade. Or cranberry-ade. Either. It was kind of like seeing a satchel get bedazzled with all the wrong color beads and knowing that that satchel was going to be a birthday gift for you. Horrible! But not really that bad 'cause you knew all along didn't you? GODAZILLA!!!!! bono is godzilla in disguise. stupid bono. he needs to just forget it. My sister is always going to be "Busy". Busy as a rhyno at a discotec with sore feet and a hat made of marbles. Yeah thats busy!
So Ray sat down to eat some nuts on a pencil so that his wife would not have to suffer any longer. She had been hankerin' for a hunk of cheese. And you know what I mean. If you know what I mean.
Oh I know what you mean, and by you I mean me, and what I mean is she really wanted a piece of raw nostril sauce. Which, in Scandinavia is also referred to as "Pudding." Hello Bono Rocks!
Seriously it was a scandal. Of epic Scandinavian proportions. Ray should have been apalled, but he wasn't. He was simply balling with laughter. Ray's laughing provoked a near by horned toed bullfrog that had red eyes and a larger than normal horn on its left toe. The frog was so angry at Ray's laughter that he literally wrote a book about it. The book was terrible. GOOD TO GO.
Kinda like those little lizards you see licking their toes. And junk. ooWee were trying to get lunch but frigg'n ray disappeared. Frig. Bob schnitzel was a man of his word.

All work and no play makes .... mmmmmmonkeys fly out of my friend bob's moustache.

CPD WW Marketing
X8350 Marketing Brief
August 8th, 2005